Kruk and Kuipisms

Let’s face it. Vin Scully is a legend. He is without a doubt the most revered broadcaster in the bigs. His stories are great, his baseball IQ is off the charts, and his voice…well, let’s just say it’s one of a kind.

Think about it: over the years baseball broadcasters come and go. Very few reach iconic status like Scully. Think Bob Uecker, Red Barber, Joe Garagiola. Some baseball broadcasters have become household names because of their on-air antics or their unique catch-phrases. Russ Hodges (The GIANTS win the pennant! The GIANTS win the pennant! The GIANTS win the pennant!), Harry Caray (those glasses!), and currently, in Chicago, Ken “The Hawk” Harrelson who is as well-known for his unapologetic bias of the White Sox as he is for his “you can put it on the board, yeah!!”

But for my money the best broadcasting team in Major League Baseball is Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper. They are the broadcasting duo for the San Francisco GIANTS. Their popularity is based on their extensive baseball knowledge, their love of the game, their bracing wit, and I think, in large part, to their chemistry. That, and their Kruk and Kuipisms. They play off one another brilliantly. Right about now you’re wondering “what the hell is a Kruk and Kuipism?”

I’ve listed a few. This is by no means meant to be an exhaustive list-I expect you gamer babes to jump in with any I’ve missed. Here they are:

Gamer Babes from Half Moon Bay Naturally, I have to start with this one because it is the very basis of our existence. A Gamer Babe from Half Moon Bay, or for short, Gamer Babe, is a female fan of the greatest team in MLB, the San Francisco GIANTS. I don’t know how they came up with the term, but whenever they spot a woman or girl proudly displaying her GIANTS colors, they refer to her as a Gamer Babe from Half Moon Bay.

ownage is ownage Kruk and Kuip frequently use this term for both pitchers and hitters. If a pitcher can’t get a certain hitter out no matter where they play, no matter what day it is, or what pitch they throw, that hitter is said to “own” the pitcher. Let me give you an example: Andre Ethier from the Dodgers. His career batting average is .262, decent, but not extraordinary. He has hit off Matt Cain 30 times in 70 at bats, for an average of .429, excellent for a hitter. Andre Ethier “owns” Matt Cain. The flip-side is also true. If there is a pitcher that a hitter doesn’t see, no matter what the pitcher throws, or where or when, that pitcher “owns” the hitter. What we’re talking about here is a hitter who would otherwise be able to hit no matter what. Let’s take for instance Miguel Cabrera (Tigers) arguably the best hitter in the bigs. His career batting average is .321. He has faced Matt Cain only 6 times. And he hit him once for a .167 average. Matt Cain “owns” Miguel Cabrera. Ownage is ownage!

grab some pine, meat! this harkens back to the day when rookie ballplayers were called “meat” as in fresh meat. Kruk and Kuip use it judiciously to refer to other teams’ players, spectators, etc. Pine refers to the bench. They are basically saying “sit down kid”.

scud a pitches that bounces in front of home plate.

I wanna get that! I wanna get that! I wanna get that! this is a phrase exclusively used by Mike Krukow to describe his desire for something he sees at the game–a bobblehead, or maybe some food that looks tasty. He says the phrase 3 times very quickly.

He hits it high! He hits it deep! IT IS OUTTAHERE!!! a phrase exclusively used by Duane Kuiper when he calls a GIANTS homerun. It is by far, one of my very favorite sound-bites of all time. I never, ever tire of hearing it!

There’s more, lots more. But I want to hear from some of you!

5 thoughts on “Kruk and Kuipisms

  1. Toni Cecchetti says:

    Perfect Lori D! I also like it when they channel Flannery after he sends someone on a close play at home “my butt’s on the line! my butt’s on the line! my butt’s on the line!”


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